Developing Emotional Intelligence Can Achieve Change

'Developing Emotional Intelligence to Achieve Change'

Emotional intelligence runs right to the core of who we are, and developing our emotional intelligence (EI) is not something that can be achieved in a two day course or workshop.

What we can achieve is the development of skills and knowledge, so lets say we are in a busy, high pressurised role, it is common that when we measure your EI, the perception of many peers and colleagues is that you may have relatively low empathetic skills.

Skills and Knowledge or attitudes and behaviour... what's important for emotional intelligence?

With a number of clients this is a perceptive rather than an actual issue and driven by the time pressure that individual is under in the current role.

We identify the issue as having little time or patience for team members and a lack of ability to listen to others opinions. We send the individual off on a leadership course to develop their inter and intra-personal skills.

A module may well include the skills to be a great listener or to be truly present when communicating with another individual.

To impart the knowledge, theory and skills of how to become an active listener can be adequately covered in the workshop, however to harness long-lasting and enduring change we need to change attitude and habit.

Who wears the trousers?

Change in knowledge and skills can be taught, change in attitude and habit demands a change in our emotional brain and the way we see the world, how we develop habits.

I have no wish to oversimplify the opportunity we all have to harness true change but if we take an example of putting on a pair of trousers, what are my chances of guessing which leg you put on first? Fifty:fifty is of course the answer.

Now that I know the answer, what are my chances of guessing each day for the next 10 days, well 100%, because this is a habit you have performed and unless you consciously attempt to change this, you will perform the same way each and every occasion you put on your trousers.

And so this development of an unconsciously competent activity or behaviour is how we can take an individual and coach them over time to achieve major changes in their lives.